


If I do

by Fairy (laterie)



Series: KINGS [9]
Category: GOT7
Genre: 2017 reminiscence, Husbands, Kings AU, M/M, Memories, Sexting, Texting, Youtube watching, have fun, includes pictures, look it's not explicit what happened to me, sex deprived, slight angst, the minimum bare little daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laterie/pseuds/Fairy
Summary: Jackson is bored so he decides to watch some old fancams of Mark.
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Series: KINGS [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569673
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	If I do

**Author's Note:**

> Are you excited about the new song?  
> Me too.  
> Anyway, I started to write this in Saturday and mixed it up with the dates.

When you’re longing for someone, it always takes away your energy. When Jackson lay down on the specious bed that evening with his hair still wet, he thought he could call his husband to at least hear his voice and fall asleep with Mark talking about his day. But Mark was in the studio, and Jackson didn’t want to interrupt any process with the recording of Mark’s solo album. Not when just yesterday they had a small quarrel about Mark staying in the studio overnight. The producer was Mark’s good friend, but Jackson still got anxious about what might happen to his husband.

Well, Mark told him that Jackson is the right one to talk about, forgetting to even _get_ home. It was a low blow from Mark, but he looked so exhausted that Jackson let it go. This time he didn’t ask why it was Jinyoung who drove him home. _Like_ , what was with this guy and his husband all the time? It was not healthy anyway.

Not like Jackson didn’t talk about this with Jinyoung. And also, it wasn’t like Jackson had saved Jinyoung as _Park gae_ in his phone, which Mark commented as unnecessary, but when Jackson wanted to change it, Mark just shrugged it off and went to the kitchen to make a double portion of ramen and didn’t give Jackson a single bite.

But talk about raw meat with a vegetarian. It was too late to think about better idioms. Jackson rolled on Mark’s side of the bed and took his phone to watch some videos.

Funny to think that Jackson had to watch Mark fancams to see his husband’s face in close. He scrolled down on youtube until he found one that caught his attention. The _Never ever_ performance from a festival back in 2017 where Mark looked like a character straight from a novel. He was so unfairly beautiful that the word has lost its meaning with anyone else. Not to lie, one of Jackson’s weakness was Mark wearing string earrings. He looked so ethereal, just like in the video. Was this how fans felt all the time? The idea that Jackson could lose Mark and would never be able to touch him again as his lover was unsettling so much that Jackson started to frown at the screen. He rewound the video back to see Mark’s stunning smile and hair blowing in the wind.

2017 was a frustrating year. When Jackson saw himself dancing with Mark by his side in that bad shape, it brought memories back. All Jackson wanted now when he saw Mark in the red suit dancing on _Fly,_ was to wrap his arms around him and promise to him that they’ll be just fine one day. Nobody would hurt Mark again, and Jackson would give him all the love he deserves.

It was like traveling back in time and seeing all his past mistakes. Jackson tapped the _back_ button to see the _Never ever_ performance again. The same year, the same Mark and the same tragedy. At _1:04,_ Jackson paused the video, immersing himself into the beauty of his husband. It was hard to believe that after what they have been through, Mark was now _his,_ and only _his._ The same stunning and talented man that was paused on his phone was now his husband.

Jackson took a screenshot of the moment and sent it as a message to Mark.

_(To Mark 23:16) I’m always waiting for you_

For some reason, Jackson kept staring at the picture. It was all about _what if I didn’t hold him that night?_ It was a big _if,_ but it meant the whole world to him. When he was slow-dancing with Mark in his living room, it felt exactly as if Jackson was holding his whole world in his arms. At that time, it was about losing a friend, but three years later, Jackson was facing something very different; it was about to keep his marriage safe and sound.

Fifteen minutes passed till a message popped up on his screen.

_(To Jack 23:34) look how pretty i’ve been there_

Jackson snorted at that. To be honest, as he was watching the video, he didn’t desire anything but to wrap that strap of Mark’s shirt around his hand and pull him close to his body.

_(To Mark 23:38) you’re still pretty love_

_(To Jack 23:41) and when I’m the prettiest?_

“Tease,” he shook his head with a smile, “every time goddamit.”

_(To Mark 23:44) when you’re happy_

_(To Jack 23:46) I thought it’s every time_

“I knew it,” Jackson laughed at that.

_(To Jack 23:50) just kidding. Anyway what are you doing this late? Go to sleep Gaga will you?_

_(To Mark 23:51) I’m actually waiting for you. Do you like the picture? It’s from never ever 2017 a festival I can’t remember_

_(To Jack 23:54) what to tell you? Not my best moments but I like my hair_

Jackson bit his lower lip. He didn’t want to bring the past back. The year felt like cursed, _terribly_ wrong, and empty not only for Mark but for Jackson too. Not that he collapsed and couldn’t promote the song very well, but Mark also rejected him when Jackson confessed after one party later when he stayed overnight at the dorms.

_(To Jack 23:57) do you have a nostalgic hour sweetheart? You should watch something better like my Crash and burn perf there’s this one cool fancam of me and my sexy thighs_

_(To Mark 00:01) babe you’re impossible I swear to god I am asking you to come home and crush me with your tights_

_(To Jackson 00:06) lmao I love you_

That cute _motherfucker._ Jackson sighed and put his phone down. He caught himself grinning like an idiot. Mark trusted him with cradling something so fragile as a marriage in his hands. It was still hard to believe that the same man singing and dancing while looking like a personified angel was only _his._ Jackson probably had an existential crisis, or his yearning has turned him into a fanboy.

_(To Mark 00:14) I’m not even kidding babe just come home and fuck me_

_(To Jackson 00:15) u are not helping_

Jackson groaned as he felt the temptation to ring Mark and hear his voice. His throat by now would be hoarse from the singing, which would only stimulate Jackson’s imagination. How long has it been since they had sex anyway? With all the GOT7 promotions, his and Mark’s solo recording, it could be weeks.

Actual _fucking_ weeks since he had Mark.

_(To Mark 00:19) then im gnna stare at you pictare and_

_“Shit…_ ” he accidentally posted an unfinished massage full of errors.

_(To Mark 00:20) ignore that_

_(To Mark 00:21) shit_

_(To Jackson 00:23) are you gonna stare at my picture and imagine doing stuff to me?_

_(To Mark 00:25) u damn right boy_

_(To Jackson 00:26) aren’t you too tired for that? You can’t even spell words. Go to sleep Gaga_

It almost felt angry as Jackson was gripping his phone. He was tapping at the speed of light, gritting his teeth and imagining Mark from 2017 as he was stripping down his clothes and no matter how thin his now husband’s body was then, Jackson would pamper it with kisses and love so deep that Mark would never ever look at anyone else. Not even that one fucking _mistake_ , Mark had fucked at the party where Jackson wasn’t invited, but get inside anyway because drunk Jinyoung called him that Mark does weird shit and need to get home immediately.

Stupid 2017. It was supposed to be the band’s happy year.

_(To Mark 00:35) in 2017 I would’ve loved you so good if you allowed me back then. I would’ve given you the whole world you always have been that anyway. I just feel like shit because I remembered what had happened to us and I don’t want to experience that ever again._

_(To Jackson 00:50) stop watching old videos and go to sleep. I’m already on my way home._

Jackson lifted his eyebrows, surprised that Mark was getting home tonight. The shock immediately changed into a pleasant smile, which again turned into a frown when he realized that Mark brushed the whole confession off like Jackson was just pathetic. Maybe it wasn’t the right topic to debate over instant messages or at all.

_(To Mark 00:53) I can’t. miss you._

_(To Jackson 00:54) OMW_

_(To Mark 00:55) too far away_

_(To Jackson 00:55) kiss you_

A strangled moan left Jackson’s mouth as he buried himself under the duvet with a sheepish grin on his face. It was tempting to open youtube again and watch some old _Just right_ videos to see Mark’s cute blond hair with the pink strand on it.

_(To Jackson 00:57) It won’t happen again Gaga I promise. Go to sleep I’ll be back soon._

_(To Mark 00:58) I’m already in bed and waiting. I couldn’t sleep and missed you so I started to watch these old songs and never ever is such an emotional crap. I’m never ever gonna leave you Markiepoo_

He could imagine Mark cringing at his phone the minute he sent the message. It’s been years since he last time used the nickname. Every time Mark heard it, he started to ignore Jackson’s whole existence.

_(To Mark 01:02) Im gonna watch I like you from the fm lol you were so cute in that sweater_

It didn’t take long for Jackson to open the youtube app again and find the right song. It brought such painfully beautiful memories to him. Mark looked like a fluffy marshmallow, and all Jackson wanted was to kick his past self towards Mark and make them kiss. People legitimately thought that he started to hate Mark out of nowhere. As if any force could make Jackson hate such a gentle human being. Past mistakes were passed, but these videos will forever remind him of what could’ve happened.

_(To Mark 01:20) you were asking for it_

_(To Mark 01:21) I hope you’re already in the building because you’re getting some tonight_

_(To Mark 01:23) I can do you in the shower babe_

_(To Mark 01:24) whenever you want but please just let me_

_(To Mark 01:24) let me hold your hand_

Wait, was he spamming Mark’s phone with horny texts? Jackson whined at that, closing all the apps and locking his phone. It took his husband too long to get home from the studio. He clutched his phone and looked out of the window at the city lights. If he could fix things for Mark, and make everything better, he would give up part of his dream. It went from zero to a hundred pretty fast. But how many times he had told Mark that he should be more persistent and stop listening to petty people?

“Stupid!” Jackson hit his head with the heel of his palm, “you were so stupid back then!” he groaned as he threw his phone on the side.

“Glad that you admitted that,” Mark was standing in the bedroom door, taking off his hoodie, “do you have an existential crisis?”

Jackson blinked before he threw away the blanket and stood up from the bed. With long and quick steps, he came to Mark and yanked him forward by his waist before he kissed him on the lips. By this time, Mark got used to Jackson’s escapades and _sentimental_ moments, but still, Jackson could feel him tense under the touch.

“Let me take off—”

“I’ll strip it off of you!” Jackson groaned as he pressed his lips to Mark’s jaw, “go to bed. I’m gonna get the lube.”

“What happened with the lube in the nightstand?”

“I jerked off too many times.”

It left Mark impressed if Jackson could read his silence correctly. _Whatever,_ he let go of his husband’s waist and took off his own shirt, throwing it on the floor carelessly. Mark had that cute frown on his face as he was trying to figure out whose fault it was that they were out of the lube.

“Go to bed,” Jackson squeezed Mark’s ass before he patted it, admiring the shape with a soft hum.

“You were shopping today?”

Jackson didn’t answer as he went to the bathroom to get the new bottle. Always the flavorless and scentless one because Mark couldn’t stand any flavored lubricants at all. It was not a problem for Jackson at all, but he was usually the one with his face buried in Mark’s ass, so he preferred the scented one. Thinking about it now, about all the sex stuff made Jackson restless even more. That was the problem with being horny, he got dirty very fast.

“I’d prefer…” they almost collided with each other in the bathroom as Jackson suddenly turned around.

“ _Hm?_ ”

Oh, how could he ever forget how beautiful Mark’s eyes were in the dim lights. He looked ethereal and soft in the golden shades. There was only this much Jackson could do before Mark would finish the sentence. He dropped the bottle on the counter and started to undress his husband furiously.

“I’d prefer a shower before we…” Mark helped with his pants, leaving them discarded on the tiles.

Jackson had a dark thought back then when he was lying on his bed and thinking about the stupid party where Mark unintentionally broke his heart. It required a bathroom, counter, and Mark Tuan in one place. When in 2017, he heard Mark fucking someone else for the first time in his life, Jackson felt as if someone ripped off his face and left him soulless and without any idea about the world. It hurt so much that he could feel his guts knotting and slowly killing him in real-time.

“Gaga, you’re zoning out,” Mark pinched his cheek, which brought Jackson back and also made him rub the sting away.

“I thought we could…” Jackson moved like under a spell when he grabbed Mark’s biceps and turned him around, pressing him against the counter.

“What are you doing?”

Who the hell knew about that? Had he ever had any idea about that anyway? Jackson’s jaw flexed as he squeezed Mark’s sides and rested his head on his shoulder. Why was it so painful to _think_? Why he didn’t listen to his husband and didn’t go to sleep? They could’ve been cuddling now because Mark was always so fast with his showers. Then again, what was Jackson doing?

“Gaga, what’s the matter?”

He didn’t want to admit it, that he couldn’t stop thinking about a random woman that Mark fucked in a bathroom. It bothered Jackson and that it wasn’t him that Mark had rejected him, and then about two weeks later, he fucked a woman. _Fucked._ The combination of self-pity and anger and with how horny Jackson was only made him grip Mark’s tighter and grind against his ass.

“That’s it.” Mark slammed his hand against the black marbled counter and pushed against Jackson, who pushed him back. “Jackson!”

Longing, Jackson was just longing and got jealous of someone from three years ago only because it felt like ten years since he could touch his husband intimately. No, _why_ to play the big game, there was actually no logic, only repressed anger. He wanted his control back, the position, he missed the feeling that he was the only one that Mark needed.

Control, Jackson wanted to lead. So, he pressed and pushed harder, edging Mark until he would break and throw Jackson against the wall. It was alright, Jackson would take the abuse gladly, he would probably even submit very fast and kneel before Mark, but not until it was actually happening.

“Stop it, you stupid man!” Mark grabbed his wrist and yanked Jackson successfully away. “What has gotten into you?!”

Mark was standing there only in his boxers, his chest flexing. A damn meal. All Jackson wanted was to bury his face in Mark’s pecs and choke.

This year was 2020, and GOT7 was two days before their comeback.

“Nothing,” Jackson scowled, lifting his hand to touch Mark’s neck, “I’m just crazy in my head today.”

“Babe, you have a vlive tomorrow to record,” Mark sighed at the tender touch. He took Jackson’s hand and kissed his palm.

“So?” was it a sign that Jackson was already so deep that it would rip out part of his whole body if something would happen to Mark? He was not scared by someone trying to steal his husband away, but that something terrible could happen to him. Car crash, illness, exhaustion, or an injury. 

“So, tell me what’s wrong? Empty your mind. You’re scaring me.”

 _Oh_. And the last one, that Jackson could hurt Mark beyond repairing.

Jackson sighed as he massaged his forehead. It was past one in the morning, and here he was, with Mark in the bathroom after a long and tiresome day. After weeks of neglecting, Jackson thought it’s alright to be a bit selfish and controlling and demand things because he misses Mark too much.

“I’m just thinking nonsense, I…” he looked away when he felt Mark’s dark stare that could pierce him through.

“That’s your reason?” with a sigh, Mark shook his head and moved to turn on the shower. “Why, after so many years, can’t you open to me at the first try?”

Jackson flinched at that cold tone, “I told you, that I miss you. It’s all.”

“You’ve been watching old videos and talking about our past. It seems like you’re searching for something to fight over.” Mark stripped down the last pieces of his clothes. “I don’t want to fight.”

That sounded harsh to Jackson. “Well, I’m sorry if I gave you the angry vibes. I don’t want to fight either.”

Mark unfastened his silver cross necklace and put it into Jackson’s waiting palm, “then tell me what’s wrong?”

Jackson groaned at that, frustrated beyond his limits, “nothing’s wrong, I just missed you. The lack of sleep is taking its taxes on me.”

“That’s not how the idiom is…” Mark looked at him in confusion, “it’s _the lack of sleep takes a toll on me.”_

Whatever Jackson was saying was enough to distract Mark from a non-existing problem that arose between them from Jackson’s lack of intelligence caused by too many nights spent by jerking off and none nights spent by using his cock in the right way. When Mark started to lecture him on the _wrong_ use of English, Jackson gently wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and pressed their naked chests together and began to nip at the sensitive skin under Mark’s ear.

“Did you just fool me to distract me…”

“ _Hm…_ ” Jackson hummed.

“You’re cheating again.”

“ _Chewing._ ”

Mark laughed at that, and when Jackson pushed him gently into the shower, Mark let him. The water immediately soaked Jackson’s pajama pants and his fluffy socks. Mark made a good point on that it wasn’t the lack of sleep, but lack of sex that was making him dumb, at which Jackson could only agree. His hands started to wander all over Mark’s naked body while he was still kissing his neck. To pay attention was difficult at that moment, and Jackson couldn’t leave any lovebites.

“Are you gonna fuck me while wearing wet pajama pants and socks on?”

That pulled Jackson back a bit from his steamy word. He giggled against Mark’s neck and then hummed, because _yeah,_ he approved this craziness. When he looked at Mark, he could already see him pinned against the wall with his sexy legs around Jackson’s waist.

“You know, these porn scenes are literal bio-hazard,” Jackson wiped the water from his husband’s face, “we might end up with broken necks.”

“I’ll be the one with a broken neck, and you’ll be the one with a broken ass.”

“Cool, so I am gonna survive this embarrassment while you’d be laughing at my misery from cloud nine?”

“No, I’m going down with this ship,” Mark yanked Jackson’s pants down, revealing nothing but skin. “Shameless going to bed without underwear.”

“You know when I said I want you to crush me with your legs, I meant it.”

Mark chuckled at that, wrapping his fingers around Jackson’s cock, “that’s why I did get home so fast.”

“I like that idea of you running after my horny ass to give me some.”

**

They overslept. Jackson’s phone fell somewhere behind the pillows and mattress, and since Jackson was too fucked out, he couldn’t care less about setting on his alarm. He forgot about the vlive the minute Mark closed his legs around his waist, almost choking him out of his breath. Then the vibration through the mattress couldn’t be felt because it was made of thick foam, which was custom made for Jackon's bad back.

“Why is this always happening to me?” Jackson groaned as Mark was pulling the blanket away from his face, “what have I done to anyone?”

“Come on!”

“No!” He held onto the blanket for the dear of his life, “I wanna stay in bed and make love to you for the rest of the day!”

The yanking stopped. Jackon has grinned in victory, but it didn’t last long until Mark ripped the blanked away from him and threw it on the carpet. And holy shit, Mark looked so alluring with his black hair curled and messy and his expression charismatic, looking down at Jackson as if he stole the last ramen for himself.

“Daddy?” Jackson chirped, feeling so small under the intensive look.

“Now, you’re all shy with me.” Mark ran his fingers through his hair, “come on baby boy, let’s find a nice outfit for you.”

“But all my nice clothes are at my place,” Jackson grumped, “this is why I had my alarm set.” He looked at his phone, “to go there and change.”

Mark was already in the dresser. “Should I take another shower? I took two before bed. But I guess I should, we just wiped each other with tissues, that was not nice.”

“Go.”

“You know what?” Jackson asked as he was eyeing Mark’s half-naked body. His ass looked so impossibly round and firm that Jackson had a problem to compose a single sentence. He forgot what he wanted to ask.

He remained sitting there, on the bed looking like a wet bird waiting for the sunshine. Mark already had a nice bottom down shirt in his hands and a dark pair of jeans. It was always heart-warming to watch Mark taking care of him.

“Didn’t I tell you to go to the shower? You’re getting late, Gaga.”

“But I like watching you.”

“Up now!”

It was time to show the world his dating skills, but Jackson didn’t feel like sharing what was meant to be only for Mark. Six days ago, when his husband was airing, Jackson sat down and watched the whole video before their next schedule. How was that even possible? Mark never acted this cute and shy on their dates. This little button that always tried to make his life hell by embarrassing the shit out of Jackson was anything but shy.

“Good that I shaved yesterday,” unwillingly, but finally, Jackson got up from the bed.

“I’m gonna iron your shirt, you better be out of the shower in ten minutes. That’s all you have!”

Jackson sighed at that. So, he’s going to wear button-down and jeans and the only shoes that can fit that outfit. He originally wanted a sweater with a nice jacket, but, well, his fault that he didn’t think it through. At least his hair’s going to look fluffy.

“Bald Jackson,” he rolled his eyes as he washed away the foam from his body, “do I have fans or dissers?”

A surprise waited for Jackson when he walked into the bedroom, drying his hair with a towel. A black sweater was lying on the bed. Was Mark an actual angel? Maybe it was time to start asking for miracles.

“Husband of mine!” Jackson called, throwing the wet towel on the bed as he went to find Mark.

“Are you done?”

“Do you possess a magic that I’m not aware of?”

Mark looked at him, holding yogurt and a spoon in his hands. There were two kinds of people in the room, that one who always had done everything before someone even could ask, and that naked one asking irrelevant questions when the time was playing against him.

“Are you a baby boy now?” Mark put his breakfast on the table, “do you think it’s the right time to be a disobedient baby boy?”

“But you’re so good to me that I wanted to compliment you. How caring and…”

“I’m good to you, but you are nothing but a naked butt!” Mark slapped his hand against the soft cheek of Jackson’s ass and made him yelp at the sudden sting. He tried to cover his ass, but Mark always found a space he could spank.

“I understand!” Jackson yelled as he tried to run away from Mark in the most awkward way with his dick wobbling between his legs.

“Do you?!” suddenly Mark grabbed his shoulder and yanked him forward, “do you understand what you’re doing to me?”

“I have a slight idea,” his expression turned serious as Mark held him close, his hands knitting Jackson’s ass, “but my butt has to be somewhere else today, I’m sorry.”

“That’s the problem, you know, Jackson?”

“I know.”

It was always hard to say goodbye, even only for a few hours, but Jackson wanted to go to his place today and do some more work on his album, to polish it, and maybe take some pictures or think about the concept in more depths. Mark would be in the studio anyway. It was the last day before GOT7 would start with the after comeback promotions, and only then will the mess start.

Dressed and perfumed up, Jackson looked like straight from a magazine. Well, Mark couldn’t say a word it was his choice of clothes anyway. At the doorway, when Jackson was lacing his shoes, Mark appeared with another yogurt and spoon. He looked so adorable in his pajama pants, ruffled hair, and nothing covering his chest. Maybe the last part wasn’t that cute for Jackson, who suddenly forgot how to lace shoes.

“Text me the precise time, I am getting Milo back from Yugyeom's parents.”

“Alright.”

Mark licked the spoon clean, watching Jackson as he resumed to tie his shoes. He could hear his husband giggling at that. Mark always had thousands of reasons to laugh when he was with Jackson, and that made his day every time.

“I’ll be watching you, alright,” Mark smiled before he stepped closer and kissed him, “go get them, tiger.”

“Yeah.”

Later, when Jackson was already in the rented house and getting his makeup and hair done, he turned on his phone to check his Instagram when a message popped on the screen, startling him, but the stylist didn’t give a damn as she was spraying and ironing his hair. Jackson dared to open the text from Mark, which included a screenshot with an attached message:

_(To Jack 12:29) where are our bracelets?_

_(To Mark 12:39) silly, we just exchanged them for our rings_

**Author's Note:**

> i know some of you like these series, and i am grateful forever! 🙏 seems like i can't stop writing it. i have prepared a chaptered fic for you guys, but i have to finish it first. i'm home for two weeks and i am trying to write a LOT since there's nothing to do anyway. 
> 
> Q: any KINGS AU prompts? 
> 
> find me on twitter: @foxiejung


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